Archive for Harlem Ain't for Amateurs
Overheard in Harlem:
“If I know you, I won’t shoot at you.”
Another Harlem tale
At the local diner this morning: A woman walks inside to ask for napkins for her runny nose– it’s 17 degrees. Meanwhile her homegirl holds the door to the diner wide open for her. First woman proceeds to strike up a conversation with the cashier and her homegirl outside (“Ya’ll serve breakfast up in here?” [...]
Seen on 125th
I’ve seen it all now. I can safely retire from Harlem living. On 125th street, in broad daylight with plenty of people walking by, I saw a man take a leak on (yes, on) a parked SUV. I don’t know what else to say. To answer your most obvious question: No, he was not trying [...]
HollahFail: Baseball Bats
“Hey! I see you! I see you, gurl, wit’ yo’ baseball bat legs! I see you, gurl!”:
Overheard on 125th
Her: “Why you get upset like that!?”
Him: “What? I wasn’t mad! I talk loud all the time, on the regular!”
Seen on Park Ave. & 125th
A tall security guard in a heavy coat moaning and groaning– when I got closer I realized he was working out. Without weights. While making noises as if he had weights.
Seen on the way to work:
My elderly male neighbor rolling a joint in the hallway window at 11am.
HollahFail on 125th
Teen boy to a passing teen girl: “Hey. (beat) Hey! (and when she still won’t turn around) I swear to my mom I look good!
Karaoke Boy (again)
So, I saw Karaoke Boy again two nights ago. Same spot. Same boom box. New hat. This time he had an older couple crowding him in awe. He smiled and chatted but the second the song playing on the boom box edged toward the chorus, he took a step back and started belting it out, [...]
I get low, low, low
Why come (yes, I said it) are the saggy pants kids moving on to saggy backpacks? Today, I saw two different kids wearing backpacks that were dangling very close to the ground. It goes without saying that they had to keep their hands in their pants pockets to keep the backpack from falling. Seems like [...]
The website for SékouWrites, a Harlem-based writer who "day-lights" at UPTOWN magazine.
