SekouWrites.com » Harlem Ain’t for Amateurs

Overheard in Harlem:

Sekou — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 15:05:30 +0000

“If I know you, I won’t shoot at you.”

Another Harlem tale

Sekou — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 16:01:11 +0000

At the local diner this morning: A woman walks inside to ask for napkins for her runny nose– it’s 17 degrees. Meanwhile her homegirl holds the door to the diner wide open for her. First woman proceeds to strike up a conversation with the cashier and her homegirl outside (“Ya’ll serve breakfast up in here?” “Girl, they got breakfast! You ever ate here!?”). Dude next to me at the register says what I’m thinking: “Let the door go! It’s cold!”). Their priceless reply? “Shut up! Zip yo’ damn coat up!” I should have eaten breakfast at home.

Seen on 125th

Sekou — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 17:41:23 +0000

I’ve seen it all now. I can safely retire from Harlem living. On 125th street, in broad daylight with plenty of people walking by, I saw a man take a leak on (yes, on) a parked SUV. I don’t know what else to say. To answer your most obvious question: No, he was not trying to be discreet in any possible way. I walked by again later– the SUV had a dark triangle on it’s side. Evidence that I didn’t make the whole thing up. -smh-

HollahFail: Baseball Bats

Sekou — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 15:52:15 +0000

“Hey! I see you! I see you, gurl, wit’ yo’ baseball bat legs! I see you, gurl!”:

Overheard on 125th

Sekou — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 14:50:42 +0000

Her: “Why you get upset like that!?”

Him: “What? I wasn’t mad! I talk loud all the time, on the regular!”

Seen on Park Ave. & 125th

Sekou — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 17:00:52 +0000

A tall security guard in a heavy coat moaning and groaning– when I got closer I realized he was working out. Without weights. While making noises as if he had weights.

Seen on the way to work:

Sekou — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 17:28:50 +0000

My elderly male neighbor rolling a joint in the hallway window at 11am.

HollahFail on 125th

Sekou — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 01:03:15 +0000

Teen boy to a passing teen girl: “Hey. (beat) Hey! (and when she still won’t turn around) I swear to my mom I look good!

Karaoke Boy (again)

Sekou — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 17:27:13 +0000

So, I saw Karaoke Boy again two nights ago. Same spot. Same boom box. New hat. This time he had an older couple crowding him in awe. He smiled and chatted but the second the song playing on the boom box edged toward the chorus, he took a step back and started belting it out, right on cue. The couple stayed. Probably waiting for him to pause again, so they could ask him more questions. No, I did not take a picture. C’mon, it was dark out!

I get low, low, low

Sekou — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 19:53:14 +0000

Why come (yes, I said it) are the saggy pants kids moving on to saggy backpacks? Today, I saw two different kids wearing backpacks that were dangling very close to the ground. It goes without saying that they had to keep their hands in their pants pockets to keep the backpack from falling. Seems like too much work but I guess form follows function in matters of, er, fashion.