SekouWrites.com

Oscar night rants

Sekou — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 18:52:18 +0000

Okay, so, was it just me or was George Clooney’s date having the worst night of her life? And please tell me someone else saw Gabourey Sidibe telling the TV cameras that she’d “hit that” when someone pointed out Gerard Butler. Then the announcer called Gerard over and made Gabourey repeat it. On national TV. In front of her mother. Yeah, it was funny but I’m just saying. Someone get her a publicist.

HollahFail: Upgrade you

Sekou — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 18:43:25 +0000

“I can change your life (beat). Upgrade your Blackberry to an iPhone.” From a dude to a lady walking down the street.

Overheard in Harlem:

Sekou — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 15:05:30 +0000

“If I know you, I won’t shoot at you.”

Another Harlem tale

Sekou — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 16:01:11 +0000

At the local diner this morning: A woman walks inside to ask for napkins for her runny nose– it’s 17 degrees. Meanwhile her homegirl holds the door to the diner wide open for her. First woman proceeds to strike up a conversation with the cashier and her homegirl outside (”Ya’ll serve breakfast up in here?” “Girl, they got breakfast! You ever ate here!?”). Dude next to me at the register says what I’m thinking: “Let the door go! It’s cold!”). Their priceless reply? “Shut up! Zip yo’ damn coat up!” I should have eaten breakfast at home.

Seen on 125th

Sekou — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 17:41:23 +0000

I’ve seen it all now. I can safely retire from Harlem living. On 125th street, in broad daylight with plenty of people walking by, I saw a man take a leak on (yes, on) a parked SUV. I don’t know what else to say. To answer your most obvious question: No, he was not trying to be discreet in any possible way. I walked by again later– the SUV had a dark triangle on it’s side. Evidence that I didn’t make the whole thing up. -smh-

HollahFail: Baseball Bats

Sekou — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 15:52:15 +0000

“Hey! I see you! I see you, gurl, wit’ yo’ baseball bat legs! I see you, gurl!”:

Overheard on 125th

Sekou — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 14:50:42 +0000

Her: “Why you get upset like that!?”

Him: “What? I wasn’t mad! I talk loud all the time, on the regular!”

Seen on Park Ave. & 125th

Sekou — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 17:00:52 +0000

A tall security guard in a heavy coat moaning and groaning– when I got closer I realized he was working out. Without weights. While making noises as if he had weights.

Lexus hardtop convertible test drive

Sekou — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 05:00:49 +0000

My test drive of the Lexus hardtop convertible. Loving it!

Seen on the way to work:

Sekou — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 17:28:50 +0000

My elderly male neighbor rolling a joint in the hallway window at 11am.