SekouWrites.com

Break out the windows of your car

Sekou — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 04:27:00 +0000

Heard about a car that had been trashed from a friend of mine and that got me to thinking about a story from way back. So, when I lived in a Brooklyn brownstone the landlord’s daughter occupied the rental unit in the basement. Her boyfriend came over often and then after a while he just kinda never left. Since it was rent free for her, it must have been free for him too, right? Pay dirt. But one day the other woman found out where he was laying his head, had her home girl drive her over and yelled for him to come out. He wouldn’t come outside (he was probably getting a fresh beat down from the landlord’s daughter about the woman outside her apartment) so we all watched from the windows as she commenced to trashing his motorcycle right out front. I mean, she went to TOWN until she got tired and her friend drove her away. The motorcycle was never the same and dude didn’t last much longer downstairs. This makes the second funniest woman scorned story I’ve seen myself. The other is way too long to type. Spark any similar memories for any of you?

Tamala Jones Up In The Air?

Sekou — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 17:23:17 +0000

So, follow me around the room. I saw George Clooney dissing his date at the Oscars. I got curious about the movie (Up In The Air), because I suspected he was just playing himself. I watched it. My suspicions were confirmed. Then, I was surprised to see Tamala Jones (I think) in a pivotal bit part. For those who haven’t seen the movie, I won’t give it away. My question is this: Why is Jones not credited in the film that has so much buzz that it could revive her career? I scoured IMDB and the film’s credits. Am I missing something? This is not a rhetorical post. Hollah back.

Oscar night rants

Sekou — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 18:52:18 +0000

Okay, so, was it just me or was George Clooney’s date having the worst night of her life? And please tell me someone else saw Gabourey Sidibe telling the TV cameras that she’d “hit that” when someone pointed out Gerard Butler. Then the announcer called Gerard over and made Gabourey repeat it. On national TV. In front of her mother. Yeah, it was funny but I’m just saying. Someone get her a publicist.

HollahFail: Upgrade you

Sekou — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 18:43:25 +0000

“I can change your life (beat). Upgrade your Blackberry to an iPhone.” From a dude to a lady walking down the street.

Overheard in Harlem:

Sekou — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 15:05:30 +0000

“If I know you, I won’t shoot at you.”

Another Harlem tale

Sekou — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 16:01:11 +0000

At the local diner this morning: A woman walks inside to ask for napkins for her runny nose– it’s 17 degrees. Meanwhile her homegirl holds the door to the diner wide open for her. First woman proceeds to strike up a conversation with the cashier and her homegirl outside (“Ya’ll serve breakfast up in here?” “Girl, they got breakfast! You ever ate here!?”). Dude next to me at the register says what I’m thinking: “Let the door go! It’s cold!”). Their priceless reply? “Shut up! Zip yo’ damn coat up!” I should have eaten breakfast at home.

Seen on 125th

Sekou — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 17:41:23 +0000

I’ve seen it all now. I can safely retire from Harlem living. On 125th street, in broad daylight with plenty of people walking by, I saw a man take a leak on (yes, on) a parked SUV. I don’t know what else to say. To answer your most obvious question: No, he was not trying to be discreet in any possible way. I walked by again later– the SUV had a dark triangle on it’s side. Evidence that I didn’t make the whole thing up. -smh-

HollahFail: Baseball Bats

Sekou — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 15:52:15 +0000

“Hey! I see you! I see you, gurl, wit’ yo’ baseball bat legs! I see you, gurl!”:

Overheard on 125th

Sekou — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 14:50:42 +0000

Her: “Why you get upset like that!?”

Him: “What? I wasn’t mad! I talk loud all the time, on the regular!”

Seen on Park Ave. & 125th

Sekou — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 17:00:52 +0000

A tall security guard in a heavy coat moaning and groaning– when I got closer I realized he was working out. Without weights. While making noises as if he had weights.